My ONLY New Year's Resolution-Be SHAMELESS

Anyone else hate lengthy New Year's resolutions as much as I do?  

Social media has made me loathe it even more than usual. People going on and on about all the major changes that will make for the new year and by Febuary it's business as usual. No progress and no real effort to truly make their lives better.

I've been there and done that year after year. Lose 10 lbs. Work out every day. No more sugar. Read 80 books.

Blah. blah. Blah

I want to do things a bit differently for the new year...better yet, starting today.

I want to face my fears, insecurities, and everything else head on. How will I truly grow and learn if I don't?

What exactly do I mean? I want to be the person that I am without censorship or fear of rejection.

I want to be my authentic self.

This is something that I've struggled with for so long.  Not feeling or being good enough.  Wondering why anyone would take me seriously. etc. etc. etc.

The bottom line is, I'm not meant for everyone to like or love me.  None of us are and that's okay.

I have a vlog channel that I "hide" because I'm afraid of judgement and that people won't like me if they see those videos.  

I'm not perfect and that's ok.

Hopefully this newfound being free to be myself strategy leads to positive results in other parts of my life.

My resolution is to be FEARLESS. No more sugarcoating and other BS. 

If you're into New Year's resolutions, what's yours?

 P.S. I changed all the videos on my vlog channel from unlisted to "public"

If you want to, subscribe to that channel.

I hope you're having a great day.  I say that and mean it. :-)

Shameless Maya inspired me to be SHAMELESS in the video below.

Dealing with Overwhelm and Insecurity

I love Marie Forleo!

Christa told me about her Youtube channel last year and I've been hooked ever since. Marie is fearless, super down-to-earth, and offers business and life advice that is practical and actionable. I think she's a vegan (or vegetarian), too! Woohoo!

Anyhoo..

While sitting in bed reading my timeline, Marie posted a link to one of her older blog posts.

The post/video was right on time! 

For the last few days I've been dealing with paralyzing overwhelm.  I have so many things to do and so many projects that I want to start.  At the same time, I'm trying to educate my kids (and myself), save for travel, record videos, figure out how to help people eat better and grow my business, etc., etc., etc. 

Sigh. 

Did I also mention we're moving? Yeah, I have to nail down a plan of action.

In the video, Marie starts off by talking about the importance of doing a mental dump when dealing with feelings of overwhelm. Basically, get all of those thoughts on paper.  I put down my cup of tea, pulled out my journal, set my alarm for 10 minutes and got to work.  I frantically wrote down those thoughts, concerns, and ideas and filled up over 2 pages of words and tears.

When the alarm went off, I continued to write a little more until I felt like everything was out. 

Even though the assignment was therapeutic, it actually made me feel worse. 

I still went back to the video and checked out the next step...

Marie said to put a BIG FAT LINE through all of the concerns that you have no control over. She said, "If we don't have control over it, we shouldn't spend time on it." I wholeheartedly agree but something interesting happened.

I was only able to put a line through TWO ITEMS on my list.  I'm quite sure that wasn't the point of the assignment but a different message resonated with me.  Basically, I have complete control over how I feel, what happens in my life, AND how I respond to everything that comes my way. In a way, there's no such thing as not having control of anything. 

The last step....

Cross out the "meh" items.  Get rid of all the things you say you want to do (or should be doing) but never make the effort to actually get done.

I eliminated a lot from my list during this step and it showed me how much I talk but rarely get shit down. Umm, yeah you gotta do better, Monique! *shaking my head*

When it was all said and done...I ended up with only a half page of concerns.

In conclusion...

I gave myself permission to be okay with just being Monique and not downing myself for focusing too much on what I should do or be.  Not saying that I will continue this life of mediocrity, but moreso, that I will try not to worry so much about what I can't immediately change.  All I can really do is take baby steps to get to where I want to be and redirect my focus to those steps and not should've/could've/would've thoughts that float through my head.

Worry and senseless overwhelm is preventing me from striving AND growing.

I still have a long way to go but at least I have a better perspective. 

If you got this far, thanks for reading. :-)

More Reading Equals Better Writing

Instead of saying, "I'm reading 12 books this year" for another fruitless New Year's resolution...

I'm saying, "I will read for 20 minutes 4x per week before turning on my laptop."

This method is way more realistic and plausible. 

Right now, I'm enjoying James McBride's The Color of Water

and just downloaded The Alchemist

Like Stephen King said,

“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There's no way around these two things that I'm aware of, no shortcut.” 

He also said....

“It's hard for me to believe that people who read very little (or not at all in some cases) should presume to write and expect people to like what they have written.” 

What's on your reading list?

Vision Board

I updated my vision board again, and now I want to figure out how to make it happen. I moved it from my nightstand to the wall directly across from my bed. It's the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning.

I'm thinking each night I need to write my schedule for the next day and look to my board for inspiration. Hopefully, this will get those baby steps in place to achieve my goals that much faster.

Do you have a vision board? What steps are you taking to make it happen?  I appreciate the feedback. :-)

Goals for the Week Update

Happy Sunday morning. I'm sitting here listening to the rain, sipping tea and feeling inspired to write in my journal and blog. A sign that this will be a good day. :-)

Even though I recorded and uploaded 3 videos (a record!), didn't allow the boys online until they did their reading and vocabulary, unplugged on Sunday, and planned a date night that wasn't just a dinner and movie, I still barely scratched the surface on the other stuff.

I didn't read Grammatically Correct, shampoo the carpet (well at least it was vacuumed lol), or write at all outside of the blog.  I guess I should give myself a little more credit though.....I did post 5 times this week. *pat myself on the back*

Next week's goals will be more realistic, measurable, and obtainable...you know, like goals are suppose to be. *shaking my head*

*Dusting myself off and trying again*

Goals for the coming week....

*Wake up at 6 AM Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday (Sunday is DONE!)

*Write in journal, Sunday, Tuesday, Friday-no word minimum, just WRITE

*Shampoo the carpet in the dining room by Wednesday night

*Record and edit one cooking video

*2 nature walks with the kids

*Make sure the boys are keeping up with their daily chores

*Write on the main blog Mon, Wed, Fri