181. I Don't Know What the Hell I'm Doing (Solo Episode)
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This week’s solo episode is completely unedited, raw, and honestly vulnerable so if you tune in, thank you for being here and listening!
Y’all know that I don’t ever want to be overly negative, and if I am feeling down, I always want to present it as a lesson learned or end it with a solution. This week, I wanted to just hit record and document how I’m feeling in life and business at this very moment. I’ll be upfront, I don’t bring a solid solution to this podcast, but it did feel good to process my thoughts out loud and in sharing, I hope maybe one of you in this community will feel seen and understood as well.
I’ve talked before about my past struggle with anxiety and depression and how they were once so crippling that it was impossible for me to show up consistently in my work. In fact, this year is one of the first times I’ve been really consistent in creating new content, showing up every week, and staying on track in my business. I even did my first live workshop last month which felt valuable and rewarding as hell! I hired a team (a podcast and YouTube editor and an assistant) for the first time and have been marking off goals left and right. I’m doing things now that I wrote about wanting to do back in 2017.
That being said, I’m experiencing a complete WTF moment where I feel like I have NO idea what the hell I’m doing. Being an online entrepreneur and influencer comes with its perks (I talk about this in this episode) but it also comes with some serious pits full of self doubt and confusion.
In this episode, I’m getting vulnerable with how I’m feeling in this current moment and talking about:
How fluctuations in income make working online feel uncertain
My frustration with my current financial situation
My previous struggles with mental health and how I’m struggling right now
Feeling a lack of purpose and confusion about what I’m ‘supposed’ to be doing
Being consistent in my business and still experiencing the lows
How even the people who seem to have it all together really don’t
As always, thank you for tuning in and sharing these moments with me. I know better times are ahead but I feel like it’s important to not just share a highlight reel of business and to be transparent with what I’m going through.